Mothers' Beliefs Influence Fathers' Parenting Behaviors
Published: Aug. 29, 2005
URBANA - Mothers may have an important role to play in helping fathers reach their parenting potential. Although today's fathers report a heavy psychological investment in fatherhood, that identity doesn't always play out in their parenting behaviors, reports a new University of Illinois study.
"The best predictor of how involved a father will actually be with his children is the mother's beliefs about fatherhood," said McBride, a U of I professor of human development. Some mothers play a critical role in determining how involved a father will be, deciding if it's okay, for example, for the father to handle bathtime, take a child to a doctor's appointment, or supervise a play date. Researchers call this phenomenon "maternal gatekeeping."
McBride's study, published in the July issue of Family Relations, followed 30 families with children between two and three years of age. Participants were asked to rank their own and their spouse's psychological investments in five adult roles: parent, spouse, worker, social, and other. Mothers and fathers also used time diaries to assess their involvement in three types of parenting activities: accessibility to their children, interaction with them, and taking responsibility for them.
Current fathers are quick to say that parenting is an important piece of who they are. Twenty to forty years ago, fathers were much more likely to identify primarily as workers or to see fatherhood more in terms of breadwinning, McBride said.
"Because men are still newcomers to some aspects of childrearing, they have a tendency to defer to women as the experts. It's important that fathers get positive feedback about their parenting efforts so they'll continue to do them," he said.
If, for example, a father gets a toddler ready for preschool and Mom notices that the child's buttoned up wrong, she can signal her impatience and rebutton the shirt herself, or she can say, "This happens to me too when Frannie won't stand still. Let me show you something that helps me get her dressed when she's really antsy."
Gatekeeping varies across contexts and is best studied on non-workdays, McBride found. "The kind of gatekeeping that encourages a father to play with his child for an hour can be very different from gatekeeping for responsibility behaviors. If a mother knows from experience that a well-baby pediatrician's appointment has to be made six months ahead of time, she may be more apt to just do that herself."
Gatekeeping can be very subtle, and it may not be intentional, he said. Because life is busy and stressful, a mother may feel she doesn't have time to teach her partner a particular parenting skill or to impart the information he needs to be successful.
"And, no matter how invested we are in our parental roles, the work world tends to dictate what we do on workdays. Parenting roles for fathers tend to be less scripted on non-workdays--they have the luxury of deciding whether they're going to play golf, work around the house, or parent their child--so that's when a mother's perceptions and influence really come into play," he said.
McBride is intrigued by the "disconnect" between what fathers believe and how they behave in their parental roles and intends to follow up on this exploratory study. "It's a complex problem and an important one," he said.
"This concept of gatekeeping suggests that there are some barriers to men living up to their expectations of themselves as fathers. If a man presents himself as being interested, willing, and capable of effective parenting, there are things mothers can do to encourage dads to realize their parenting potential," he said. "And that would benefit both partners and the child in the long run."
Co-authors of the study are Geoffrey L. Brown, Kelly K. Bost, and Nana Shin, all of the University of Illinois, and Brian Vaughn and Bryan Korth of Auburn University. The research was funded by a grant from the National Science Foundation. -30-