Senior Child-Care Givers Express Frustrations, Joy in Journal
Published: May. 26, 1998
May 27, 1998
Source: Jane Scherer (217) 244-2849 Contact: Bob Sampson Extension Communications Specialist (217) 244-0225; rsampson@uiuc.edu
Senior Child-Care Givers Express Frustrations, Joys in Journal CHICAGO--Chicago senior citizens facing the often-unexpected responsibility of raising their children`s children can go to a University of Illinois Extension program for support. Many of them have shared their feelings in their own publication, the Journal of Ordinary Thought.
The magazine is an outgrowth of a group, Willing and Interested Seniors/Supporters of Education (WISE), itself part of a larger Extension effort to assist reform of the city`s public schools. Since 1990, Extension has operated the Urban Leadership Center in the city.
"Originally, this program was to assist members of the new local school councils," explained Jane Scherer, U of I Extension urban programming specialist. "As time has passed, the Center has become a committed partner in the community to address issues that affect the lives of the residents of Chicago`s far south side."
The Leadership Center offers a variety of programs, ranging from school reform to family well-being to parenting skills to community development.
"Most of the WISE members have primary responsibility for the care of one or more of their grandchildren," explained Hal Adams, a U of I-Chicago professor of education who works with the group. "The grandparents have been meeting for several months to write, mostly about having found themselves in the position of raising children for the second time."
Their writings reflect a mixture of resentment and confusion, but also of love and commitment.
"They embrace the role because they know that their children often are not in a position to take care of the grandchildren," said Adams. "The grandparents are willing to make any sacrifice to avoid having their grandchildren fall into the child welfare system. One hears over and over that losing children to ?the system` is the worst disaster imaginable."
Within the pages of the Journal are dramatic accounts written in the language of everyday life.
"Two years ago I was pronounced dead for four and a half minutes, but I feel I`ve been brought back for a reason; and it was the seven children I have," Margaret Tucker wrote.
Bertha Gunter wrote that she sees herself in her children and grandchildren. "The legacy I want to give my children, grandchildren, and everyone I meet, is what my parents gave me: the realization that I am wonderful just as I am," she stated.
"As I awoke this morning, I just said thank you Lord for one more day," wrote Mable Cass. "I have to get myself together for the meeting of the grandparents and parents. You see, I am both grandparent and parent. Sometimes I wonder, why me? But, why not me?
"I am raising my grandson. He is a teenager and I am not used to teenagers. I once told him, when he was small, if you listen to some of the things I say (old things), with your youth, you could go far in this world. I wonder if he is listening. ?Yes, Grandmother, I am listening.`"
Charity Thompson addressed the ambiguous role of grandparents. "In the world today the line has grown dim between parents and grandparents. Sometimes our children, the parents of our grandchildren, have to remind us who is the parent of our grandchildren. We need to know when to step back."
Mary Peacock expressed the mixed emotions of letting children go off on their own. "Children need to find their way in life, so parents have to let go sometime. I am the mom that can`t let go of her only son."
Alexander Pratt explained that the writing project has added benefits in building family knowledge and pride. "I want my children and grandchildren to know about our family. When I was growing up I didn`t know too much about my grandparents. No one had much to say about the family. In a sense this bothers me. I have made it a point to let my children and grandchildren know as much about their heritage as possible."
Emma Smith wrote of the challenges of raising grandchildren, the communications problems, and generational differences. But, she concluded, "we should see ourselves as courageous. Unafraid. We should place a high value on self-worth, try to establish a positive attitude. We should do our utmost to elevate our lives to motivate others so that their lives can become more gallant, wholesome, and balanced."
Marilyn Epps, the Extension educator assigned to the Leadership Center, believes the WISE program speaks directly to improving the quality of urban life.
"The personal stories in the Journal are a tribute to the writers` talent and wisdom and can inform the political debate about improving the quality of life in urban America," she said.
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