You're Not Martha Stewart? Eat Together Anyway!
Published: Nov. 5, 2007
URBANA - Many parents are so intimidated by Norman Rockwell images and Martha Stewart table settings that they opt out of family meals or fail to make them a priority, said Miriam Weinstein, speaker at last week's lecture sponsored by the Pampered Chef® Family Resiliency Program at the University of Illinois.
"Family meals don't have to be elaborate. Getting together and interacting with each other regularly is the most important thing," said Weinstein, author of The Surprising Power of Family Meals.
Two findings inspired the author's views on the importance of eating together as a family. Teens who eat family meals are five times less likely to engage in risky behaviors than teens who don't, says Columbia University's National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse.
And toddlers who eat family meals display remarkable language development, according to a Harvard study. Of 2,000 new vocabulary words gained, 1,000 were traced to involvement in family mealtimes compared to 145 new words gained as the result of having been read to, she said.
Weinstein had some simple rules for families to follow at mealtime: (1) Parents should have no agenda beyond eating and talking--but, she says, no lecturing. (2) Family members should eat facing each other, not a television screen. (3) And everyone should eat the same food, preferably prepared by the family.
No fast food at the dining-room table? Weinstein prefers that families learn to enjoy preparing and consuming nutritious food. "Cooking is a pleasure. Good food is a pleasure. And fixing and eating a meal together teaches children about nutrition and portion control. Among other benefits, family meals prevent obesity and combat eating disorders," she said.
A family meal, she noted, is "a simple act with outsized benefits." She stressed that regular evening meals help smooth family transitions--from work to family time each evening; during times of change, such as births and deaths, in individual families; and to strengthen and enforce a new family identity, for instance, after a divorce or when establishing a blended family.
But family meals are also valuable for their daily reliability. "They set the stage for physical and psychological well-being, provide a steady spot in a turbulent world, give family members the chance to check in with each other, and make and mark daily events and transitions.
"They also provide one of the best opportunities a parent has for prevention and repair," she said.
Although a University of Michigan study conducted between 1981 and 1997 reported that children's free time had declined by at least 12 hours a week and family dinners had declined by a third, no family should be too busy to engage in this comforting ritual, the speaker said.
When placing a renewed emphasis on family meals, Weinstein recommends telling your family what you're doing and why, looking at your schedule honestly, and consistently making the effort to eat together in the evening.
She also advised telling coaches and persons who plan extracurricular youth activities that you are making family meals a priority and would appreciate their family-friendly scheduling efforts.
"Leaving the dinner hour free for families is one thing that schools and communities can do to support children's well-being," said Weinstein, who spoke with community organizations on the topic the day after the lecture.
She also advocated a contemporary school-based version of home economics to boost the benefits of good nutrition and strong families. These lessons seem to have gotten lost in the shuffle along the way, she said.
"Many parents have lost confidence in themselves, and they lack time and energy," she said.
But Weinstein urges them to work to overcome those obstacles. "Family meals are too important to leave behind as a casualty of modern life. I tell parents: --Plan to do it. --Do it. --Let your family know you're doing it. --Let your community know you're doing it. --Work to support it. --And enjoy it."
The lecture was sponsored by The Pampered Chef® Family Resiliency Program, a partnership between The Pampered Chef® and the Department of Human and Community Development at the University of Illinois. Doris Kelley Christopher, a University of Illinois alum, is the Founder and Chairman of The Pampered Chef®, the largest direct seller of high-quality kitchen tools and part of the Berkshire-Hathaway family of businesses.
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