Moms and Dads Share, Multitask in "Intensive Parenting" Culture
Published: May. 12, 2008
URBANA - Suzanne Bianchi's time diaries show that today's moms and dads are equally busy in a culture that has adopted both "intensive parenting" and having both parents in the workforce.
Bianchi, chair of the sociology department at the University of Maryland and the author of Changing Rhythms of Family Life, made the remarks in the Pampered Chef® Family Resiliency Program's spring lecture at the University of Illinois.
"Surprisingly, parents spend as much--perhaps more--time interacting with their children today than in 1965, the heyday of the stay-at-home mother," the speaker said.
But, as parents' work-force participation has increased, there's also been an increased emphasis on investing more in their children, the speaker said.
"As parents delay having children and have fewer of them, they're really ready to focus on their kids when they do become parents. At the same time, childhood is lasting longer. Many parents remain deeply involved in their kids' lives and continue to give financial support well into young adulthood," she said.
Very high rates of mothers and fathers say they really enjoy parenting and claim to know their children's whereabouts almost all the time, said Bianchi.
Even so, mothers and fathers report spending too little time with their children, and guilt is a way of life, she said.
With both parents spending 60 hours a week doing some kind of work—either in the workforce or at home, something has to give, she said.
So what does give? Well, less housework is being done, but men are doing more--with almost 84 percent of married fathers reporting they did 16.8 weekly hours of housework in the year 2000. And the number of hours fathers spent in child care jumped 153 percent from 1965 to 2000.
Increasingly, both parents are multitasking, and 72 percent of single moms report that they multitask most of the time.
Fifty-eight percent of fathers and 60 percent of mothers report not spending enough time with each other, and parents have also reduced the amount of time they spend with family and friends.
Down time? Many parents incorporate their kids into their own leisure or adopt kid-friendly leisure activities, she said.
Fifty-seven percent of fathers, 71 percent of married mothers, and 78 percent of single mothers say they have too little time for themselves, even if the time is just spent getting a few more hours of sleep, Bianchi said.
The time crunch means parents also have fewer hours to engage in civic activity--in PTA or as scout leaders.
Is it all worth it? According to Bianchi, women have more choices and are more secure in exercising them than they were a generation ago. But jobs take time, and children take time--perhaps even more so with the advent of "intensive parenting," she said.
Many women spend fewer hours in the labor force when their children are young. "But leaving work for a short time can be a part of a long-term commitment to a career," she said.
One of Bianchi's greatest concerns was the differing results for single and married mothers. "Children in single-parent families not only have fewer financial resources, they also have access to the time of only one parent. Single mothers face the most challenges of any group in the study."
The time diaries actually paint an optimistic picture of family change, said the researcher. "We're seeing that families can undergo great change and still protect the things they hold most dear. The revolution in mothers' paid work hasn't been without cost, but I'm impressed with the resilience I see in families in the face of unprecedented social change."
The lecture was sponsored by The Pampered Chef® Family Resiliency Program, a partnership between The Pampered Chef® and the Department of Human and Community Development at the University of Illinois. Doris Kelley Christopher, a University of Illinois alum, is the founder and chairman of The Pampered Chef®, the largest direct seller of high-quality kitchen tools and part of the Berkshire-Hathaway family of businesses.
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